Why Marketing Sucks

People contact me all the time to tell me that they are great marketers.  Then they ask me how much money I want to spend and they show me the pretty things they make, which is all totally useless.

Never, ever do they tell me that they can increase my profits.  Only rarely — virtually never — do they even suggest that they can increase sales.  Want to spend money getting pretty pictures and research?  They got that in spades.

Good marketers would realize that I have an infinite budget for marketing.  They would look at my business, concoct a better way of selling the services, and suggest a strong test.  If the test works, we would do more of what works.  If the test didn’t work, but I liked their style, I’d try more tests until we found something that worked. 

Unfortunately, most of these marketers call or email without even a clue about what we do.  They demonstrate up front that they know nothing about selling, which requires, first, knowing something about your customer. 

I once used an advertising agency when I was selling computers.  They created the most beautiful Christmas campaign ever:  cartoons of TinyTim for newspapers supported by the cast of a regional theater voicing Tiny Tim on the radio.  Through mid-December, Christmas was a total bust until I pulled the ads and we went back to showing people what they wanted to see:  your best deal on the best computers during the buying season.  For the next year, I had to suffer the slings and arrows of the many marketing awards that my agency earned for its fabulous campaign with our dollars.  High art, and I was the patron.

My kingdom for a salesman.  A marketer wants to be your girlfriend:  make it pretty and spend your money.  My business needs a champion.

Published in: on March 31, 2009 at 9:26 pm  Leave a Comment  

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